“Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life’s cruelest irony.” Douglas Coupland I wonder what, if any, role loneliness plays in true belonging. Can one truly belong and feel lonely at the same time or are they enemies of each other? I will admit that I…
Articles by Tony Lapointe
The Father Wound
As children (and even as adults), we long for the connection with our fathers. In my life, and countless clients through the years, the wounds we experience are deep. I was raised in a single parent home. For whatever reason, when I talk about this, the focus has generally been on the parent who was…
The road not taken
“The hardest thing about the road not taken is that you never know where it might have led.”
Embracing authenticity
The struggle to be authentic and embrace oneself is, in my opinion, one of the most difficult experiences in one’s life. That is certainly true for me.
The Power of Attachment
“Belonging is as fundamental and basic as air and water. We can’t live fully without belonging to something larger than ourselves.” Self acceptance and self understanding is frightening for an insecure child. Children who have a secure attachment to their caregivers have an ability to explore these facets about themselves because the believe (through experience)…
Fitting in is for cowards
I have been trying to fit in my whole life. First in my family, then school, then church, then post secondary, then family, then work. On and on it goes. I don’t believe I’ve ever had the freedom to just be who I am until I gave myself that permission when I was 40. That’s…
Holding Space
In my personal and professional life, the one characteristic I find consistently is the inability of others to hold space for someone to experience what they are experiencing. By way of definition, holding space to me means that I am creating a sense of safety for the person to explore, discover, grief, hurt or question…
My middle name is “Dysfunctional.”
Actually, its Giles, but it may as well be dysfunctional. I believe we are all dysfunctional to some degree or another. Some of us more than others. This is not a platform to discredit my upbringing. I believe parents do the very best they can for their children, even if it doesn’t turn out as…
Where it all began
I was born and raised in a small prairie town in Manitoba. Portage la Prairie to be exact. It is located about 80 kms west of Winnipeg. Of course “small” is relative. In Manitoba terms, the city is big. Its the third largest metropolitan area in Manitoba!! (I know right?!) but still small comparatively. There…